29062009

I brought my wedding dress home with me on saturday :)

I am insanely excited! It's now hanging in the wardrobe begging me to wear it..i just want to wear it all over the house, doing the house work in it and sitting watching tv haha! I love it so much. Showed kerry it today on the webcam and was all excitey about getting to touch it again hahah!

i have 25 full days left of being Miss Sara Gentle! Have mixed emotions about this, i'm so proud of my amazing family and being a Gentle...but at the same time i really cannot wait to be Mrs Doran-Thorp either! I can't wait to share his name and move into our quarter and spend forever together.

I can't even explain how much he means to me. I have never been so happy in my life. He really does complete me and as gay as that sounds, i know it's true.

My day just doesn't seem right unless i wake up with him next to me and go to bed without him...i wait with butterflies all day for him to finish work and the moment he comes home and puts his arms round me i fall for him all over again.

I know if i'm feeling shit, all he ever has to do is hold me in his arms and kiss my head and I feel safe again.

Him being in Iraq for 6 months was the hardest thing i've ever gone through and the hardest thing we've (so far) gone through as a couple..but we got through it together.

Even though he's been living with us for the past year, i'm still scared about the fact that we'll be living in our own place in Chatham..as husband and wife. It's all going to be new and different but i cannot wait.

I feel like the happiest and luckiest girl in the whole world.

:):)

xx

21062009

wedding plans seem to be going nicely! trying to get everything sorted out before we head the the Uk for uncle waynes wedding. really looking forward to seeing everyone again.
Had my second dress fitting yesterday so i'm now getting really excited..should be ready to pick up next weekend! it's all pretty mental and stressfull as the shop doesn't speak english and we don't speak german..but my dress is amazing and my family are amazing for paying for it!
just need to sort out the evening meals and kerrys bridesmaid dress and that's about it to be honest! everything else is pretty much sorted.
everyone has been so helpfull...baz's mum has offered to make our cake, ayhan has said he'll hire me a limo to get to the church, wil offered to dj, becky decided to take on flowers and pea is doing our photography for us. it doesn't seem like much but when there's a million things to do, just those little things to not worry about take a massive load off!

it's weird having kerry as my bridesmaid and her being so far away. she's my best friend and nobody could replace her, didn't even have to think twice about who i'd ask to di it. just, i know she's busy with work and has her own thing going on at the moment..but i've never felt so apart from her in my life! it's really upsetting me that she's just not as excited as i would like her to be. and i know that sounds selfish and i can't force feelings on people...but out of everyone she's been the least supportive/helpfull and it's breaking my heart. all i asked you to do was find out what size you are...it only takes a minute :(
kerry...message me or phone me or something...just, i don't know! get measured, give me advice, speak to me, get excited with me, laugh and cry with me...stop being so distant.
it's always upset me whenever i've read your blog and you've spoke about home and missing mum and dad. i'm still here and i'm still your sister.
i don't know what i've done to make you forget about me.

5 weeks yesterday until i'm mrs doran-thorp!
3 weeks tomorrow until my 21st.
jeeeez.
xxx

I'M GETTING MARRIED!

how exciting :)

honestly couldn't be happier...i love him so much.

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Yesterday i had an exciting little phone conversation that went a bit like this...

Baz: "babe...i'm posted."

me: "what? you sound like a robot!"

Baz: "i've been posted!"

me: "Where?"

Baz: "Chatham"

me: (crying)

Baz: "i'll be round in a bit....i love you"

me: (still crying...) SQUEAK (..that was my attempt at saying love you back!)

So yeah, he's moving to Chatham. Which i am totally devastated about. I can't handle the thought of him living a seperate life in a different country. I know eventually i'll go over, once he's found a flat for us to live in and stuff but i don't want to bloody live in Chatham! ever lol.
Look like i don't have a bloody choice though. Fucking army are wank.
To make matters worse though, he's to be there on the 22nd...TWENTYSECONDOFJUNE!
Honestly would make things so much easier for the whole world if we were just married, but i'm only a girlfriend and i don't count :(. rubbish!

Can't believe that the day before we were online looking at flats in Bergen, and now we're looking for flats in Kent and i'm looking for a job. Ugggghhhh! Pish.
10 days left together in Germany :(

last night with pea and lee was good. got far too drunk though and ended up a stroppy bitch! nothing new really.

i'm really missing my sister at the minute. can't wait to get back home for the wedding and see everyone again. feels like forever since i was last home.

looking forward to the wedding aswell, be so good to see everyone again and i'm so excited for uncle wayne haha.

had some mad, deep conversations last night with paula about everything and i'm feeling a bit better. also feel better about the fact that i told emma how i was feeling about everything.

i love my boyfriend so much and i honestly don't know what i'd do in this place without him. he's my entire world and i love him more than i ever thought was possible.

he's sitting next to me watching some rubbish film (dakota fanning is in it and i remember when she was in friends and she was about 7...now she's all old and grown up and shit!)...anyway, he's just sitting there watchin the tv and he looks so cute!

i love the fact that i can talk to him about absolutely anything and even if he doesn't have an answer for me, all he has to do is hold me and i feel a million times better.

he's also got the sexiest jaw line in the whole world! :) ♥

i also can't believe it's now june..what the hell is up with that? i'll be 21 in 5 weeks and it's scary lol. it's also only 3 months until Greece :) whaaay.

also means i only have 3 months to lose some weight. gutted.

xxxxx