?!

work on friday was horribly busy..then randomly went camping with the family and neighbours at Sudsee. haha was a good laugh, was good to get out and do stuff but apart from that i'm getting really fucked off with my life.

it's not so much that i don't have a day job..although t would help to get out the house and not feel like i'm just sitting waiting for baz to come home all day.

i'm just missing normal life i guess. i miss having friends. proper friends! not just people you know and see occassionally.

i'm always being left out of plans with these 'friends' and it's really getting to me.

i mean...i don't think i'm that bad a person. but my judgement on myself is clearly wrong haha!

i'm just sick of it all and i just don't want to be here anymore.

i just feel so whingy and jealous and it's not me. and it's not who i want to be!

i'm so torn...i love baz more than anything in the world and i want him forever...i just don't want this life. i don't know what to do anymore :(

i want to go home.